Reflections post Her Ensemble gig and ACE funding update.

As seems to so often be the case as a musician in this country, I find any hopeful/fulfilling/progressive concert experience to be bittersweet, and this weekend was no exception. I’ve been so lucky to be a part of the Her Ensemble journey so far, sharing lost tales of incredible women who shaped our history and created space for us today, alongside celebrating amazing contemporary artists whose voices deserve to be heard. I’ve watched audiences fall in love with music from the 1100s, 1800s and the 2020s all in one sitting: cheering, crying and swaying along in a space that welcomes their raw reaction and invites them into a world that should have always been theirs.

But the backdrop to our gig on Saturday was the latest Arts Council England funding update, and the devastating news that so many dedicated, innovative and frankly spectacular groups of musicians/artists/creators have lost all their support, not knowing what the next step may be.

I’m so bored of justifying the arts. I’m so bored of feeling like I need to convince our society that it’s worth something when it’s so abundantly clear that ALL it does it bring GOOD. Whichever way you look at it, all it does is give. It provides so many jobs, brings *so* much money into our economy and most importantly it spreads love, connection and joy with each and every one of us. It creates space for you to express, reflect, explore, find meaning.. it enriches, marks and even creates the most important moments in your life. Since the dawn of civilisation all peoples have made art. There is no humanity without it. It’s who we are.

And so why do we continually sacrifice it?

“It’s not a priority”, “we must get the deficit down”, “studying arts won’t make you successful” (naturally, they mean rich). But we all know that’s bullshit. Like everything else they *choose* to cut resources for, we know we’ll just spend more in the long run when we remember how unbelievably important it is, only then we’ll have spent years squandering under the weight of immense financial insecurity and an overwhelming feeling of worthlessness.

If we have the energy to keep going (and I honestly don’t know if I do most of the time), how about we make the case for it *now*? Can we buy tickets to live events this Christmas, pay to download a single, turn up to that free exhibition, go to your local theatre? If you’re employing musicians can you be honest about the distribution of the resources, and not squeeze the struggling, overworked freelancers instead of those at the top? Can you take your kids or students to a gallery or concert or workshop, let them connect with people/history/psychology/politics and all the things that will ignite their sense of curiosity and belonging in the world?

There’s so much misery and anxiety around us at the moment and it can be so hard to know how to create change or just feel better. But I think starting with the arts, with something that has a purely positive impact, is a great idea. Whether that’s taking the time to listen to music or read a book for yourself, supporting professionals and going to see a live event or sharing music, poetry or theatre with young people - it can only lead somewhere at least a bit more beautiful and hopeful.

That’s where I long to be.

Thoughts on leadership, the treatment of women in classical music and continued reluctance to discussing bias.

I’m so disheartened to keep hearing stories of women musicians being sidelined and unsupported by former teachers or colleagues. Particularly for Principal work because as a society we still seem to have trouble seeing women in powerful roles, and of course when they do assume these roles, they can come under intense scrutiny.

I have often lamented the perception of leadership in society. We seem to admire leaders who are difficult instead of cooperative, stubborn instead of reflective and who prioritise the art of speaking over that of listening. I find it frankly ridiculous that we’re still drawn to characteristics which have more in common with autocracies or divine rulers of the past, as opposed to our broad democracy of today. We live in a time when international cooperation is more crucial than ever as we tackle some of humankind’s greatest challenges, yet our societies are increasingly polarised and healthy debate and open mindedness are lacking. Some of us are still impressed by hardline approaches from leaders who are defiant in their inflexibility and can never admit to their own mistakes. I personally couldn’t bear working with someone like this, but when it comes to choosing leaders the image of a confident (probably white, likely high-class) male undoubtedly looms large.

If this is going to change we all need to work together to reflect on our decision making processes and the attributes we truly desire in leaders and colleagues. But this can’t be something that women battle alone - it simply won’t work when most of the influencers and decision makers are still men. In my own profession, I am particularly disheartened - and exhausted - when I continue to meet men who profess to be allies, shaking their heads at instances of sexism but failing to support us in their actions. Do they think about their bandmates/collaborators/extras lists? Do they look at their female School or Conservatoire students and consider whether they treat them differently to the males (remember that we have all adopted certain prejudices)? Do they ensure the girls experience the same level of support and expectation as the boys? And what about the institutions who jump on the bandwagon of things like International Women’s Day but then fail to look at the history of trials or job appointments in terms of gender diversity, or who continue to allow well -known players and teachers to have total authority on recital marks, audition outcomes or extra lists - despite the fact that they can often show glaring gender bias.

I don’t mean to point the finger, or insult an industry I love and believe in which has given me so much, but as a woman I am simply heartbroken to keep hearing of unbelievably talented and dedicated female musicians being marginalised. It’s devastating to hear about them losing confidence after years of being treated differently or not being taken seriously by those in positions of authority. It’s frustrating to hear of them not getting trials for Principal roles or missing out on work opportunities, despite being told how great they sound. It’s appalling that some of them are still not being raised up by their institutions. All of this without even mentioning the use of blatant sexist language, harassment or worse.

My personal experience has been so lucky and unusual in that I play an instrument which is dominated by women (though this naturally comes with its own derogatory stereotypes to battle). Nearly all of the opportunities I received early on in my career were from women, and most of the people auditioning for jobs were female like me, so I was - to a certain extent - excluded from bias. That’s not to say that as a 22-year-old female trialist for Principal roles I didn’t receive comments that suggested I wasn’t asserting my authority enough, but I was shielded from sexism in terms of accessing the profession simply because there is a shortage of male harpists. (A bizarre notion with its own complexities and issues, a conversation for another day perhaps…)

But the thing is, being ‘shielded’ from bias shouldn’t be a thing in the music industry in 2022.

It’s clear that we have a problem with the reporting of issues in this mostly freelance profession. Many of us - myself included - have decided not to report or even talk about unacceptable cultures or injustices, simply because we’re too worried about the impact it will have on our reputation. In an industry that still often operates on personal recommendation, we are all so conscious of the importance of making a good impression on colleagues and employers. As well as playing impeccably and showing our best musical selves, we want to appear assertive but not arrogant, and easy-going yet serious. But I worry that this challenge can be more acute for women.

We live in a society that still brands women who speak out as attention-seeking (the treatment of Meghan Markle by the British press is an excellent example); that refers to victims of assault as promiscuous if they wore revealing clothing or drank alcohol (Suzie Miller’s award-winning play, Prima Facie, expertly explores the inefficacy of the law in domestic abuse cases); and that calls women and girls who know what they want bossy. It’s no surprise then that we’re still struggling to get those top jobs. We simply can’t make the impression we need to when we’re not being *seen* for who and what we really are.

To my shame, I only recently discovered that there is an anonymous online tool on the MU website for reporting instances of sexism, harassment and more. If we want to encourage conversation around these matters and work towards faster change, perhaps building the habit of reporting these instances is a good way to start. There is SO much good work being done by people in this area and I DO NOT want to take away from that - I just know from many conversations with colleagues over the years that this behaviour is still too common, that people don’t feel able to share their experiences and that the health, happiness and success of talented musicians is being jeopardised. It’s fantastic that this online tool exists, - and if any of you have already used it then I hope it has brought relief or constructive action in some way - but the fact that I didn’t even know about it only highlights our hesitancy in discussing these topics, let alone normalising the use of reporting mechanisms. I have decided to start by sharing the tool here, for anyone - not just women - who wishes to share any experience of damaging behaviour or toxic cultures, and also in the hope that this might encourage us ALL to talk more openly and explore these challenges together. (It would be interesting to know what courses of action are planned once information is gathered by the Union. Conversation and cooperation with institutions/orchestras is, in my opinion, essential.)

I hope that one day I can do more to advocate for the rights of women in music and the well-being of musicians in general, but for now, this could be a small step in the right direction.

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For essential data on women in music, please go to Donne (https://donne-uk.org/) and read their latest report on Equality and Diversity in Global Repertoire 2021/22, and while you’re there take a look at the ‘Big List’ (of over 5000 women composers). Irreplaceable resources that should be reference points for anyone who wants to see a more equal - and thus richer, healthier and more dynamic - music industry.

(I also want to add that I am specifically sharing my own personal experience and the experiences shared to me by others of sexism towards cisgender women. I fully acknowledge - and am deeply concerned by- the existence of prejudice towards other genders and identities and believe wholeheartedly in working towards the end of discrimination for all, not just that of which I have personal experience. I stand with anyone who is not being respected for the person that they are and dream of a day when we can all see *people* as opposed to genders/stereotypes/ideals. Here, I am simply expressing my own reflections on this particular issue of sexism towards cisgender women.